Saturday, August 26, 2006
The bigger Picture
We always want what we can't have, or we have what we don't want, or we have what we want but don't know how to keep what we have. It's a funny cycle in life yet we live through it day in and day out and we don't do any thing to change it.
I had a dream last night, it wasn't ur typical happy go lucky unrealistic kind of dream. Instead it was so real that u could feel the pain if someone poked you. I was here i guess or myabe a different place but nevertheless everybody who i know today was there, sounds silly but really even u might have been there. It's as if God gave me a chance to look at my life from the outside. See how my everyday life looks like from anothers perspective. It wasnt all chocolates and roses........ but it made me come to a realisation....
It is like that poem we learned about the man who had two roads to choose from but had to pick one... We are given choices in life. Everyday is a new day for a new choice and it all starts with us choosing whether we are gonna have a good day, a bad day, or a Great day! It's true out of all the roads presented to us we can only choose one, and sometimes one road seems prettier than the other, but the reality is every road has its little bumps and cracks. It is up to us to look past them at the bigger, more beautiful picture in front of us.
I just realised that through all the complications, stress, and painful times i've gone through there was always the bigger, more beautiful picture waiting in front of me, and though at that time it seemed so insignificant.... I suddenly realise how valuable it was....and still is....
I always live by this saying "live life to its fullest and never regret a moment of it." till today, I've tried not to regret anything i've done in my life for I know i've gained something out of everything i've done....But today i have a new strnghth within me, a new breath of life, for now I truly know that there is a light at the end of the tunnel.
***Rosanne***
Posted by ~**Beth**~ at 1:25 AM
Friday, August 11, 2006
of Betrayal and Love
It's hard to believe that ur perspective on people can change in just a glimpse of an eye. Betrayal is something that gets u when u least expect it and when it does, it hurts real bad. But someone really wise told me something today, when u r betrayed, it is at that very moment that u realise who ur true friends and in life there r always the ppl, that no matter how much they may bug ur life, they are the ones who care the most and will be there to pull u up and be ur strength when u need it the most. I am so grateful that God put such people in our life.
Here's a little something that reminded me of God's true presence and love for us.
"LORD, You said that once I decided to follow You, You'd walk with me all the way. But I have noticed that during the most troblesome times in my life, there is only one set of footprints. I don't understand why when i needed you most you would leave me."
The LORD replied, "My precious, precious child, I love you and i would never leave you. During your times of trial and suffering, when you see only one set of footprints, it was then that i carried you."
*my darling.....he's carrying you throught this hard time in ur life, and this is why you are gonna make it through. Love you soooooooooooo much*
~Rosanne~
Posted by ~**Beth**~ at 7:13 AM
Thursday, August 10, 2006
complications and....
It's really funny how, juz at the very moment we think life cannot get anymore complicated, it turns around and suprises us. Honestly... when does life stop being so complicated? Is there not a time where everything is fine and like a field of roses? I mean come on...how much are we expected to deal with? Don't we deserve to breathe fresh air every once in awhile?You know how people say " history repeats itself", well somehow i think life is like history. Except for the fact that it is a constant history...it never changes...we keep repeating the same mistakes time and time again, and each time we tell ourselves that we are not gonna do this ever again. BUT we do...i really can't understand why.....Trust on the other hand is an age old issue.... we have been dealing with the same facts for umpteenth years and yet, nothing has changed. It's basic knowledge that every time we get hurt by the people we trust, it becomes harder for us to trust anyone again. We set a guard so high to ensure we never get hurt, and never feel the same pain we felt before. However, just when we think we are strong enough, and let our guard down...even just a little bit... the horrendous truth of life hits us....but this time it hits harder and the pain we feel is also a hundred times worse.So honestly, how is it possible that these things keep happening to us, and yet we somehow don't seem to get over it or learn... day in and day out everyone repeats their mistakes and the mistakes of others around them. We are told that we should learn from our mistakes... i'm pretty sure everyone wants to do that.... But let's be realistic...does it ever happen? I mean in our everyday lives do we constantly see this so called revelation?``Rosanne``
Posted by ~**Beth**~ at 3:37 AM
Wednesday, August 09, 2006
``life``
I know that this is suppose to be my first post and ppl usually put up something HAVOC but i'm not in a very havoc mood so whatever is up here is exactly what i'm feeling as i said 'truly me'. Besides this is exactly how i feel and it's the utter truth.......
I dun think i'll ever understand why we continuosly do the opposite of what we really wanna do. Why we constantly take a different road from the road we wanna be on. Why can't we ever reach out and grab what's in front of us? Instead we become so guarded and we end up finding substitutes for what we really want. We try and convince ourselves that what we have is what we really want, but we are actually juz burrying the undeniable truth,deep down in our hearts somewhere, avoiding dealing with the hurt and pain we really feel.
It's like the analogy used in my bestfriends wedding between creme bulle and jello. We want creme bulle....it's what we desire, instead we get jello.... we're not satisfied with jello, and we never will be but we take it anyway,because jello is not as perfect as creme bulle and so we aren't afraid of the fact that jello mights dissapoint us. It's not fair to jello because it's juz a mere substitute and we feel guilty.... all the time....but we are also afraid of upsetting jello because it wuz we who chose jello in the first place and juz pushing jello aside would be cruel... we are all actually the vilants in our own story..... we wanna be the superheroes but no matter how hard we try we never seem to succeed.....
well that's my view anyway......if anyone has figured out this life do tell me cause i sure as hell have not and i don't think i'm anywhere near it.....
***Rosanne***
Posted by ~**Beth**~ at 5:15 AM
