Wednesday, August 09, 2006
``life``
I know that this is suppose to be my first post and ppl usually put up something HAVOC but i'm not in a very havoc mood so whatever is up here is exactly what i'm feeling as i said 'truly me'. Besides this is exactly how i feel and it's the utter truth.......
I dun think i'll ever understand why we continuosly do the opposite of what we really wanna do. Why we constantly take a different road from the road we wanna be on. Why can't we ever reach out and grab what's in front of us? Instead we become so guarded and we end up finding substitutes for what we really want. We try and convince ourselves that what we have is what we really want, but we are actually juz burrying the undeniable truth,deep down in our hearts somewhere, avoiding dealing with the hurt and pain we really feel.
It's like the analogy used in my bestfriends wedding between creme bulle and jello. We want creme bulle....it's what we desire, instead we get jello.... we're not satisfied with jello, and we never will be but we take it anyway,because jello is not as perfect as creme bulle and so we aren't afraid of the fact that jello mights dissapoint us. It's not fair to jello because it's juz a mere substitute and we feel guilty.... all the time....but we are also afraid of upsetting jello because it wuz we who chose jello in the first place and juz pushing jello aside would be cruel... we are all actually the vilants in our own story..... we wanna be the superheroes but no matter how hard we try we never seem to succeed.....
well that's my view anyway......if anyone has figured out this life do tell me cause i sure as hell have not and i don't think i'm anywhere near it.....
***Rosanne***
Posted by ~**Beth**~ at 5:15 AM
